How to Build Relationships With Remote Colleagues

This matters more than it sounds. The colleagues who trust you are the ones who answer your questions quickly, include you in projects, speak up for you in performance reviews and remember your name when a new role opens.

This guide is written for Nigerians working remotely for foreign teams. It covers a first-30-days plan with sample messages, how to build trust through the work itself, informal connection that doesn't feel forced, time-zone overlap from Lagos, cultural differences, and the Nigerian problems (power, data, contractor status) that quietly affect how colleagues see you.

Quick answer

To build relationships with remote colleagues, introduce yourself early, then book short video chats with the people you depend on. Deliver what you promise and say so in writing. Join the team's social channels and share a bit of your life outside work. Protect the hours when your time zone overlaps with theirs. Remote relationships rarely form by accident, so treat them as part of the job. Small, regular contact does more than one big effort.

Why relationships with remote colleagues take deliberate effort

Remote work reduces the casual contact that builds trust, and the evidence for this is fairly consistent.

• Teams become siloed. A Microsoft Research study published in Nature Human Behaviour in 2021 looked at Microsoft's US employees after the company moved to firm-wide remote work in March 2020. Time spent collaborating across groups fell by about 25%. Employees also added fewer new collaborators, and communication shifted towards email and chat.
• Remote workers report weaker team bonds. Microsoft's 2022 Work Trend Index surveyed 31,000 people in 31 countries. Only half of remote workers said they had a strong relationship with their direct team, and 42% said they had strong relationships outside it.
• Loneliness is common. Buffer surveyed about 3,000 remote workers between October and November 2022. In its 2023 State of Remote Work report, 23% picked loneliness as one of their struggles. Among those who did not feel connected to colleagues, 56% said they had no chance to socialise and 51% said they didn't know their colleagues as people.
• Close work friendships are rare. Gallup's June 2022 poll of 16,586 US employees found that just two in ten have a best friend at work. Gallup links having one to better engagement and a lower likelihood of leaving.

Why it matters more when you work from Nigeria

If you are the only person on the team in West Africa, you start with three disadvantages. Your hours overlap less with everyone else's. Colleagues may hold vague or unfair ideas about Nigeria. And your work is easy to overlook when nobody sees you at a desk.

Relationships offset all three. A colleague who knows you will say "we should wait for Tolu's view" instead of deciding without you.

Your first 30 days: a relationship plan

The first month is when people form their impression of you. Use it on purpose.

Map the people you depend on

In week one, make a short list in three groups:

The second group is the one people forget. A designer who doesn't know you will put your request at the bottom of the pile.

Send a short introduction

Post an introduction in the team channel, then send direct messages to the people on your list. Keep it short, specific and easy to answer.

Example (hypothetical): "Hi Sarah, I'm Chidi, the new support analyst. I'm in Lagos (UTC+1), usually online 9am to 6pm my time, which is 8am to 5pm in London now the clocks have gone back. I'll be working with you on the refund escalations. Could we have a 20-minute video call this week so I can learn how you like handovers done?"

That message gives your name, role, location and hours, the reason you need to work together, and a small request.

Book short one-to-one calls

Some remote companies build this into onboarding. GitLab's handbook asks new hires to schedule at least five coffee chats during onboarding. It notes that 25 minutes is a common length and suggests pairing with people outside your usual circle, such as someone in another region or a team you depend on.

You can do the same even if your employer doesn't ask. Aim for five to eight calls in your first month. Check each person's calendar for working hours before you send an invite.

What to talk about in a virtual coffee chat

Plan two or three questions so the call doesn't stall:

• "What does a good week look like in your role?"
• "What do new people usually get wrong when they work with your team?"
• "How do you prefer to be contacted for something urgent?"
• "What do you do when you're not working?"

Then share something about yourself: where you are, what you studied, a hobby, your football team. Buffer's survey found that knowing about each other's lives was one of the reasons people felt connected. You don't need to overshare. One real detail is enough.

Build trust through the work itself

Coffee chats open the door. Trust comes from what you deliver. In a remote team, colleagues judge you mainly by your written output, so make it easy to see that you're dependable.

Close every loop in writing

If you said you'd do something, post when it's done. If it's late, say so before the deadline, not after. "The report will be ready at 3pm my time (2pm London), not 12pm. The data export failed and I'm rerunning it" builds more trust than silence and a perfect report two hours late.

Send a short weekly update

Even if nobody asks, a five-line update on Friday helps your manager and teammates know what you're doing.

Example (hypothetical):

• Done: closed 64 tickets, wrote the new refund macro
• In progress: FAQ rewrite for the billing page, due Wednesday
• Blocked: need API access from the platform team (asked Marco on Tuesday)
• Next week: start on the onboarding emails
• Out: Wednesday 1 October is a public holiday in Nigeria (Independence Day). Covered by Aisha.

Make other people look good

Credit colleagues in public channels when they help you. "Thanks to Priya for fixing the export so quickly" takes ten seconds and is remembered. Answer questions in shared channels, not only in direct messages, so your help is visible to the team.

Ask for help well

Asking good questions builds relationships. Asking vague ones wears them down. Say what you tried, what you expected and what happened, and ask one clear question. Colleagues are much happier to help someone who has clearly done the groundwork.

Informal connection that doesn't feel forced

Work-only relationships are thin. Most of the real connection on remote teams happens in the small, non-work moments.

Use the social channels

Most remote teams on Slack or Microsoft Teams have channels for pets, food, music, sport or photos. Post occasionally and react to other people's posts. Showing up a little, regularly, works better than a long post once a month.

Nigerian life gives you plenty to share: a photo of the jollof you made at the weekend, the Lagos rain, an Afrobeats track the team might like, the Super Eagles result. Colleagues often enjoy learning about a place they know little about, and it turns "the person in Nigeria" into a person.

Join or start a pairing scheme

Some companies use a Slack app such as Donut to pair people at random for chats. At GitLab, the #donut_be_strangers channel pairs two people every other Monday, according to the GitLab handbook's informal communication page. If your company has something like this, join it. If it doesn't, ask your manager whether you can start a simple version: a monthly random pairing in a spreadsheet works fine.

Show up to optional calls sometimes

Team socials, trivia and "show and tell" calls are optional, and often fall at awkward hours for you. You don't have to attend them all. Pick the ones that fall in reasonable hours and go to those consistently. If a recurring social is always at 11pm Lagos time, say so kindly and suggest rotating the time.

Working across time zones without becoming invisible

Your overlap hours with the team are the most valuable hours you have for building relationships. Use them for calls, quick questions and live discussion, and save heads-down work for the hours when your colleagues are offline.

Nigeria is on West Africa Time (WAT, UTC+1) all year, with no daylight saving. Here is what a 9am to 5pm working day elsewhere looks like in Lagos, as of October 2026:

UK clocks went back on 25 October 2026. US clocks go back on 1 November 2026, so US Eastern will be 6 hours behind Lagos from then on.

Practical habits that help:

• Put your working hours in your Slack or Teams profile and your calendar, with your time zone.
• Write times in both zones in messages: "3pm WAT / 2pm GMT".
• If you work with a US team, agree on two or three overlap hours a day and guard them. It's better to be reliably online from 3pm to 6pm than to be half-awake at midnight.
• Leave a short "end of day" note for colleagues who start after you finish, so the work keeps moving and they know you've been active.

For managing your own schedule across zones without burning out, see our guide to managing different time zones.

Cultural differences that affect remote work relationships

Nobody is asking you to stop being Nigerian. But some habits that read as respectful in Lagos can read differently on a US or European team, and the reverse is true too. Knowing the common gaps saves misunderstandings.

Titles and formality

On most foreign tech and startup teams, everyone uses first names, including the CEO. "Good morning sir" or "Noted ma" in a team channel can come across as stiff or even oddly submissive. Using first names is not disrespectful there. If you're not sure, copy how your colleagues address each other.

Directness and feedback

Dutch, German and some American colleagues can be very direct: "This doesn't work, please redo section two." That's usually about the work, not about you. British colleagues often soften criticism: "Might be worth having another look at section two" can mean "this needs fixing". If you're unsure what someone means, ask: "Just to check, do you want me to rewrite it or is it fine as it is?"

Saying no and flagging problems

Many Nigerians are raised not to tell a senior person "I can't". On remote teams, quietly struggling is worse than saying early that a deadline is at risk. Colleagues trust people who raise problems early.

Words that don't travel

Nigerian English expressions such as "well done" as a greeting, "I'm coming" when you mean "back in a minute", or "flash me" can confuse colleagues. You don't need to drop them in friendly chat, just be ready to explain. For writing style and tone in more detail, see how to communicate professionally with international colleagues.

Topics to handle carefully

Religion, Nigerian or foreign politics, and money talk vary by team. Follow the team's lead. Plenty of remote teams avoid politics completely in work channels.

Nigerian realities that quietly affect your relationships

Some problems have nothing to do with personality but still shape how colleagues see you.

Power and internet

Dropping off a call twice a week because NEPA took light or your network failed makes you look unreliable, even when it's not your fault. Use an inverter, solar or generator backup, and have two internet options, such as a MiFi plus a mobile hotspot on a different network. If you do drop, post in the call chat or team channel right away: "Lost power, rejoining from my phone in two minutes." A quick message keeps a technical problem from turning into a trust problem.

Camera on, when it matters

Video helps people put a face to a name. If data is expensive or your connection is weak, at least turn your camera on for one-to-ones, introductions and the first minute of team calls. Then switch it off if you need to, and say why.

Contractor status and team life

Many Nigerians on foreign teams are hired as independent contractors rather than employees, through a platform like Deel or Remote, or directly. Contractors are sometimes left out of company-wide channels, social budgets, team gifts or offsites. If that happens, ask your manager politely which team spaces you can join. It's usually an oversight. To understand what your hiring arrangement means, read contractor vs employee when a foreign company hires you.

Meeting in person

If your company holds offsites in the UK, Europe or the US, you may need a visitor visa, and appointment waiting times from Nigeria can be long. Tell your manager early that you need a formal invitation letter and lead time. Meeting your team even once can strengthen relationships for years, so it's worth the paperwork.

Relationships with specific people

Your manager

Your manager is the most important working relationship you have. Agree on how often you'll have one-to-ones, bring a short agenda, and ask directly what good performance looks like. If your manager is in a different country, see how to manage your career when your manager works abroad.

Other Nigerians or Africans on the team

It's natural to bond with them first, and it helps. But don't let a WhatsApp group become your only team relationship. If all your work conversations happen in Pidgin with two colleagues, the rest of the team doesn't get to know you.

People outside your team

Microsoft's research suggests remote work especially weakens ties across groups. Those cross-team ties are often where new projects and internal moves come from. Book one coffee chat a month with someone outside your immediate team.

Common mistakes to avoid

• Only talking when you need something. If every message you send is a request, people start to dread your name in their notifications.
• Going silent when things go wrong. Silence on a remote team reads as either absence or hiding.
• Copying everyone into everything. Over-tagging people in channels annoys them. Tag the person who needs to act.
• Treating chats as formal letters. Long "I hope this message finds you well" openings in Slack feel out of place. Get to the point warmly.
• Saying yes to every late call. If you burn out, your work suffers, and so do your relationships. Negotiate the time instead.
• Sharing private matters too early. Sharing personal details builds closeness, but money problems, family conflicts or health issues are better kept for colleagues you already trust.
• Moving work talk to WhatsApp. Keep work in the company's tools, where decisions are visible and recorded.

Frequently asked questions

How do you build trust with a remote team as a new hire?

Deliver small things reliably and say in writing when they're done. In your first month, introduce yourself, book short calls with the people you depend on, flag delays before deadlines, and send a brief weekly update. Trust on remote teams comes mostly from consistency, not charm.

How can I make friends with remote coworkers?

Start with shared interests rather than work. Post in social channels, join pairing schemes or optional calls, and follow up on what people tell you ("How was your daughter's recital?"). Friendships grow from repeated small contact. Gallup's 2022 data shows close work friends are uncommon even in offices, so don't expect it with everyone.

Should I keep my camera on during remote meetings?

Turn it on for introductions, one-to-ones and the start of team calls, where faces matter most. On weak connections or expensive data, switching it off later is fine if you explain briefly. Follow the team's norm. Some teams keep cameras off by default.

What should I say in a virtual coffee chat?

Ask about the other person's role and what a good week looks like for them, then share one real detail about yourself. Prepare two or three questions so it doesn't stall. Keep it to 20 to 30 minutes and end on time.

How do I stay visible if my team is in the US and I'm in Lagos?

Protect two or three overlap hours a day, post a short end-of-day note, and send a weekly written update. US Eastern working hours fall in the Lagos afternoon and evening (3pm to 11pm in winter), so plan your deep work for the morning and your conversations for later.

Is it unprofessional to share Nigerian culture with foreign colleagues?

No. Sharing food, music, holidays or local news in social channels helps colleagues see you as a person, and many teams enjoy it. Keep it in social spaces, avoid divisive topics like politics and religion unless the team clearly welcomes them, and match how often others post.

Do contractors get included in team events?

It depends on the company. Some include contractors fully, others leave them out of offsites or budgets. If you're missing team channels or events, ask your manager. It's often just an oversight.

Key takeaways

• Remote relationships need deliberate effort. Research from Microsoft, Buffer and Gallup shows remote work reduces cross-team contact and casual connection.
• In your first 30 days, map the people you depend on, introduce yourself, and book five to eight short video calls.
• Trust comes from the work: close loops in writing, flag problems early, and credit colleagues in public.
• Protect your overlap hours with the team and always write times in both time zones.
• Learn the cultural gaps (first names, directness, flagging problems) without hiding who you are.
• Power and internet backups, plus a quick message when you drop off, protect your reputation as much as your output.

Next steps

Pick three people from your team this week and send each of them a short introduction or coffee-chat invite using the sample above. If you're still looking for a remote role, browse remote jobs open to applicants in Nigeria and set up a free job alert for your search so new matching listings reach you by email. For the skills and tools your role needs, explore our remote career guides. Once you're settled in a team, read about building a professional network while working remotely and getting promoted while working remotely. If remote work starts to feel lonely, our guide to handling isolation when working remotely can help.

Sources

• The effects of remote work on collaboration among information workers, Microsoft Research (Nature Human Behaviour, 2021)
• Great expectations: A road map for making hybrid work work, Microsoft (16 March 2022)
• 2023 State of Remote Work, Buffer
• The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work, Gallup (16 August 2022, updated January 2024)
• Informal Communication in an all-remote environment, GitLab Handbook (source file)